I guess we can wake up now.... it's practically October

 It seems very fitting that our first and last september blog post should occur on the same day. Claudia, I am not entirely sure if you read these any more because obviously the blog has not been our top priority lately. But I have some time to kill (meaning I'm procrastinating studying) and I have some things to vent. So. Here we go.
 I feel like we can use first names and such on our blogs, because there is not a doubt in my mind that we are the primary viewers of this. For that reason, let me tell you a story about my friendship with Jordan. I really like Jordan. I really really really do. I actually think I have an unhealthy attachment to him, which brings me to my predicament. Due to Jordan's, ahem "hobby", I keep telling him that I'm worried he doesn't have healthy coping skills. Also, I know that I can never compete with his hobby in terms of enjoyment or whatever. And that sucks. As you recall from my last dramatic blog post in which I whined about not having a best friend, or more specifically not being a best friend (although thank goodness that's all cleared up) you know that that is a huge insecurity I have. I hate feeling like I'm not good enough, or not enough period for someone. I take friendships super seriously. Way more seriously than a lot of people.
 Anyways, I feel almost betrayed when me and Jordan are having what I believe to be a good time, and then he has to go do his hobby so he can actually be happy. And that sucks tremendously. I don't judge him, I don't. I feel concern for him, not judgement. And despite what he believes, I actually value our friendship way more than he does.
 Claudia, you know how I am. You and me are the kinds of people that don't really get emotionally invested or attached to things, and if we do we normally don't make a big deal about it. And I am emotionally invested in Jordan. So when he does things that disappoint me for lack of a better term, my feelings get hurt. And as someone who does not have particular pride for feeling anything at all, I get like devastated over what is probably a minute thing.
 All of this is to say I am in a one sided shut out. My thoughts are that I was so invested in Jordan that I got really hurt over the smallest things. And when people disappoint me like that, by hurting my feelings or whatever, I shut them out. I start using my sarcasm more than actual feelings and then I slowly pull away from that person. Right now, it has been 3 days since I have spoken to Jordan which I believe is a record. I feel like since he disappointed me, he didn't place enough value on our friendship and therefore there really was no friendship to begin with. Crazy and neurotic statement? Yes. I know it is. But I can't change the way I feel or how I deal with things. Also, I think my point has been proven that he has not made an effort to talk to me either.
 Is it too much to ask for people to actually care about me as much as I do them? Is it insane to hope that no one will disappoint me the way so many people have done before? I just want someone who won't let me get away. This is why, to bring this whole rant home, that I really do try my hardest to not care about people, to not get invested in them. Because asides from you and Looney (though she be super shady) every single person in my life has disappointed me in some way and so I never allow myself to get close to them again.
  Also, I'm still having flashbacks of seeing my roommate topless on her bed with a boo thang.

Here's looking at you kid

Claudia.....

Well, if that subheading wasn't enough of a clue, this post is just for you C-Berg. I know that you're leaving for college tomorrow, and I want to wish you the best of luck. Hopefully, every negative comment that K Hames said to you/ directed at you has been forgotten. And if there are any that are still lurking, I will say it again; SHE WAS SO WRONG. You are such an amazing person, which I can really appreciate even more since you moved. You are just a friendly person, which we all know is not a talent I have. I feel like you were made for college. You're all about frisbee! And running! And cute athletic attire! And also making friends! And overall just putting good vibes out there!

   Basically, if you are nervous you have no reason to be. I have all the confidence in the world in you and your abilities. If anything, you can only become more elfish so there's that to look forward to. Have oodles of fun, I'm sending positivity your way. Also, I demand a dorm tour at some point. Don't disappoint me now. 

--- Tin

Claudia's bloopers for ep. 7

Tin inspired me to give some background behind the videos you see on YouTube. Rather than writing about what happens behind the scenes I decided to upload my bloopers. This time my bloopers were a little sparse but have no fear I am sure I will have plenty more in the future. These bloopers go along with the video of when I went to Trader Joe's, the art museum and I made an announcement for our viewers. I also liked this idea because my dog Apollo made his first appearance, though he was in the way a bit. Enjoy!

Tin Has Returned!

Yes, I am done with California

 Long time, no blog. Also, no Vlog as my last two were preloaded as you saw. As I have now returned from my Californian vacation (my plane landed about 5 hours ago) I am weary and gross looking and ready to spill all about my experience. 

 Let me start this off by stating that I'm not ungrateful for the opportunity to travel. I realize how fortunate and lucky I am. HOWEVER. This trip was not without its fair share, or even extra-heaping of drama. And I'm not talking about the variety of drama in which we tune in weekly to watch religiously on our reality tv programs. Rather, I am talking about your standard run of the mill mother-daughter drama rama. As anyone who knows me knows, my mother is extremelyyyy overbearing, overprotective, a helicopter parent, whichever you choose to call it. Regardless of what you call her style of rearing, it is annoying and stunting AF. 

 All mothers and daughters have beef, right? Right. Especially when the beloved only daughter gets ready to embark on college, thus leaving the full time mother without a career. And also when they are confined to one space for the duration of 11 days that feel like an eon. So basically, me and my madre bickered like normal except for the fact that I WAS STUCK WITH HER. As well as my stepdad and brother, who annoyed me almost as much.

 Because I feel like my ickiness tainted my vacation quite heartily, I have decided that I will no longer go on family vacations. They just aren't worth the locations to deal with the company, know what I'm saying?

 So while I would love to regale you with all of the fun adventures I had, I feel like that would be disingenuous. Did I have fun? Yes, I did and you will see my fun times documented on my upcoming Cali Vlogs. But the thing with Vlogs is that you can edit them to portray like you're perfect. And my trip and my life and myself are/is definitely not perfect. 

 Keep that in mind when you experience the highlights with me, but also know that I am generously sparing you from the sucktacular bits. 

 The reason that I am sharing all of this with you is to let you know, for future reference, if you go on vacation with people who you have an already rocky relationship with at home, the wonder and majesty of "vacation" will not remedy that. 

 On the other hand, I believe that if you have a steady and strong relationship, it will only strengthen on vacation. Which is why I can't wait for all of the adventures and vacations and shenanigans all of us at LegallyVlog will go on. (Though we might need separate rooms at one point)

 Here's wishing you faith, trust, and pixie dust

 --- Tin

Claudia's finished intro

   To set up the scene for you, it is 12 o clock in the morning, I am in my bed and I am listening to a song from Pippin on the Next to Normal station on my Pandora. So naturally I am reared up to continue and hopefully finish my introduction. Lets see, Before I finish where I left off in my last post something important you should know about me is that I am much more productive at night. You will see this to be true in every vlog I make. Now back to what you came here to hear,  the ending to my last introduction.

Taken on our hiking trip

The house we almost got in trouble for trespassing on

    I will start off by describing my senior year of high school or rather I'll start with the beginning of the end. When it came time to sign up for classes for senior year I was determined not to be one of those seniors that took only "blow off" classes. I wanted my senior year to be more than just a year to count down the days until it was over. This decision was one that I do not regret. When it was all done I was happy and high school truly ended with a Bang! Senior year was challenging, stimulating and full of adventures. It was on one of these adventures that Legallyvlog was born. Emily, Kristin and I (maybe not to an equal extent) love the outdoors and one day we decided we wanted to go hiking. It was something we had talked about doing for a while so we figured, why not. After hiking our legs were shaky and our stamina was defiantly lowered , but I think we were feeling the exact same way. We all did not want our day of adventures to end. To give quick insight into our friendship we are all a bit of what some people may think of as goody goodies. This is not to say we are boring but rather we find excitement in.... well for one hiking. Okay back on the story we decided to take pictures in random, interesting places. This led us to have confrontations with the owner of an abandoned home and a cop. From these experiences I learned that you can get away with more if you have a camera. It seems to be the perfect defense. So no real trouble was caused, but seeing as we are not the type of girls who are normally confronted by cops ( not counting the fact that Kristin's father is a cop) we were all on some type of high that led us to the swing set on the playground of Kristin and Emily's old elementary school. While swinging we started reminiscing and we realized how close we were to graduation and how soon I would be moving 18 hours away to Texas. We knew even then that ending our friendship after graduation was not an option. We began to think of a plan to ensure we would not lose touch. This is when Kristin blurted out that we should start a YouTube channel and make weekly vlogs. The idea was genius and then and there Legallyvlog gained life.
     Now I have been in Texas for about 4 weeks and it is finally starting to feel like home. Though there is so much of Texas that is still and will, maybe forever, be unknown to me I feel like I have a place in Texas that is uniquely mine. Also this fall I will be attending Texas Tech and I could not be more excited to be a red raider. Wreck Em' Tech!

Me at Texas Tech!

Me and Dee Dee (trust me you will hear about her soon) at graduation

       

Claudia's first appearance: My in depth introduction part 1

Hello everyone,

Taken near hunting Island Sc, a beautiful scene we found

         This is Claudia writing for the first time and the first thing I would like to say is thank you for reading this (or at least beginning to read this). I am hoping you will stick with me and finish the rest , but if you don't then at least you will know that I appreciate you reading my first sentence. To start things off I am going to say a few things that you may already know about me if you have been watching my vlogs but some of this information will also be new. Because every good story typically starts in a magical place you will be happy to know that my story is no exception. I was born in New Jersey in , and this is not a joke, Jersey Shore   Medical Center. I only lived in NJ until I was four and I remember very little though I did continue to visit my family there for most of my childhood summers. Though NJ was only my home for about four years that never stopped it from gaining influence on my life. I will explain exactly what I mean by this later. Upon leaving NJ my family moved to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina to be with my grandfather. This move eventually led to another that turned out to be our last stop for a while. We moved to Boiling Springs , SC which became the place where my childhood and high school years would be spent. I enjoyed school as I was always eager to learn and Boiling Springs was a good town to have grown up in. Though at times it seemed too boring and too small ( which it was). Like everyone who has every lived in a small town or like in my case a somewhat large town that has ways of feeling tiny, you will fully understand what I am about to say. Living in Boiling Springs often made me feel restless, like I was missing out on a big world that I had no chance to explore. I also had some days when I felt like an outsider, even though I had lived in the this town for most of my life. I attribute my feeling of being an outsider to the strong influence NJ still had on my life. For starters I had never attended the local baptist church that the majority of my school had been attending since they were in diapers. Also I was not "kin" to everyone and their brother. At times it seriously seemed like everyone had at least one relative just around the corner at all times. A few other differences between my family and the families in Boiling Springs was that we said you guys and never yall, yes ma'am and no ma'am were not required to be polite, we tended to talk with our hands (something my friends loved to make fun of me for in elementary school) and the list goes on and on with typical Italian stereotypes. Though sometimes I wonder if feeling like an outsider was only in my head, looking back I feel that I really was and still am much different then most of my friends. But no matter if I was an outsider I enjoyed High School and I think I learned the lesson we all learn one way or another. Though it is so clique I believe I (for the most part) do not worry about what other people think of me. I do have times where I can be very self- conscious, but I typically do not let this stop me from pursuing what I desire, like this vlog!

        Now that is where I am going to stop for today. I went much more in depth then I had planned so I have decided to turn this into a two part series. Next time I will share some other random facts about myself and I will finish off by telling you about my big move to Texas.   

Something a little different. PS I love all my best friends.

Let's get serious

Okay Bend and Snappers. The time has come for our first serious blog post. As always, this is Tin reporting to you live from my oh so cozy bed, where I am joined by Bentley. Anyways, the topic of which I am burning to tell you is one of nostalgia. As a recent high school graduate, and a soon to be college freshman (Clemson, in case you didn't know) I know quite a lot about feeling nostalgic. Currently, in a vain attempt to alleviate this sensation, I am bingewatching all of our Vlogs. And no, this is not a self-promotion time (though our epic youtube channel is LegallyVlog just for all you die hard fans), but obviously since what LV does is Vlogs, our channel is rife with memories. And it's just so crazy that all of these experiences were in the present tense at one point of my life, and now they're just videos. Posted days and weeks and months later.

Basically, I am really stressed out and almost depressed about the impending future which is consuming all of my life at the present. It's really weird, guys. I'm super mega wicked stoked for college, I really am. And maybe it's just my anxiety talking, but at critical points of your life, points which revolve solely around change, you have to have constancy and consistency. Neither of which I currently have. Since Claudia's departure, I have only met with one friend. And me and Morgan, though we have met up twice now and we have exciting plans coming up, met a month and some days after graduation. Which begs the question, where the eff are my friends? The answer, my dear ones, is that I quite simply don't have as many friends as I thought. Or I just don't value them as much as I thought. I have plenty of supposed friends and I still care for all of them, I just don't have the motivation to connect with them. If they instigated, I would gladly hang with them. I'm just not one to make the first move.
This presents a very frightening, though predictable, problem for college. I have to put forth effort to make friends. Which in theory is fine. I just didn't realize how much effort I would have to put into friendships that had already been established. I miss my friends. I miss being able to talk to Claudia and Looney, and now it's like when we do talk it is only about our YT channel. So now my most important friendships revolve around "work". It'll get better, I'm sure it will. Only if we make an effort.
Random, quasi self-pitying, side note here: I've always been the, I guess, least favorite of my friends haha. For instance, I introduced Claudia and Looney. Well, re-introduced. And it's blazingly obvious that they prefer each other's company to that of myself. Which is totally fine guys. I get that certain people connect better than others. But it does point out a pattern of self-destruction I have.
And I am sounding completely melodramatic and cynical but I'm just rambling and I like that I'm able to do this. So, obviously I am the reason why I am no one's favorite. I'm very good at self-diagnosis (ask my shrink if you don't believe me lolz) so I am quite sure it is due to my former negative ways and my introverted tendencies. And this whatever stigma I have that prevents me from *being* a best friend is actually bothering me now. I'm not going to be able to see my best friends, because of college and such. And I'm going to have to make friends as I previously stated. And frick yeah I want to make best friends and be a best friend and make more meaningful and impacting friendships than those in high school. So how do I fix whatever it is that wards my current friends off?
   I'm not sure. And I guess I would ask a friend for advice but....
  So my point in all this dribble is that I'm depressed and anxious and lonely and scared and excited and hopeful. And I just really want to be a best friend. (Cue sad faced emojis (except I'm never emotionally invested in things. For instance right now, now that I've said all these things I am done with the feelings))
  Thanks for putting up with my narcissistic tirade! I don't know if I will continue using my blog time for actual blogging purposes, simply because it's so cliche, but this was a fun exercise! My next blog post is going to be a special OOTW post, and makeup reviews and pretty pretty pictures will probably follow.
   Peace up, A town down -Tin